Hey, here's an idea...

My spike skewers all of the fuzzys. I know her only weakness! Disguises! -changes into Lang- I'm looking for Franziska...so we can uh...prosecute together...and...go on a date and stuff

DIEGO. YOU BETTER FUCKING TELL ME WHERE YOU ARE. OR I'M WITHHOLDING SEX. -running around frantically-

Fools! I am not Franziska! I am me! The woman behind the keyboard writing depraved Mia/Tigre smut!

Okay, well then, I'm single and in your area!

-changes into von Karma- FRANZISKA. I VILL BEAT YOU VIOLENTLY IF YOU DO NOT TELL ME VERE GODOT IS.

DIEGOOOOOOO? SERIOUSLY. YOU'LL NEVER GET ANY EVER AGAIN IF YOU DON'T TELL ME WHERE YOU ARE. D:<

Diego calls to you, but you've been walking in the opposite direction and are now too far away!
Manfred has no effect on me, I am not Franziska!
Polly, you sound as legit as an internet sidebar ad!

Actually! -dresses like a cop-
I'm an officer who enjoys quiet nights at home and ace attorney montages! I enjoy replaying the cases even thought I know who the criminal is!

And single and all that. I killed apollo because I thought he was annoying you!
I wont hesitate to get rid of anyone else bothering you! let me see you!

Mia frowns as she tries to listen for Diego, and makes a quick U-turn. "DIEGO. ARMANDO," she screeches as she runs headlong towards where he is.

-still dressed as Manfred- I'MA FIND GODOOOOOOOT -runs in the maze-

Polly, that's weird that you picked the cop fantasy.

MIA.
YOU FIND HIS ROOM BUT BEFORE YOU REACH HIM, I RISE THROUGH THE FLOOR ON A ROTATING STAGE CONNECTED TO A POWERFUL MOTOR, LAUGHING MANIACALLY. "YOU FOOL!" I YELL ONCE THE STAGE STOPS, POINTING DOWN AT YOU. "YOU THINK YOU CAN STOP RULE 34?"

(Super quick, then back to the adventure.)

Mia cried out in fury, "CHARLI. YOU WILL GET OUT OF MY WAY. I WANT MY DIEGO."

(I approve of the video)

I cackle and spin in a blur. When I stop, I'm in Furio Tigre cosplay, something bulging in my crotch. "NO! NOT UNTIL I'M THROUGH WITH HIM AND ANYONE WHO TRIES TO STOP ME. I KNOW YOUR KRYPTONITE!"

Mia let out a frightened scream. "DIEEEEEEEGO, I'MA GET RAEPD. SAVE ME! ...What IS my kryptonite?"

"MY MIA SENSES ARE TINGLING!" Phoenix bellowed, then ran towards where he thought Mia is. "CHIEF, I'M COMING!"

I unzip my pants, pull out my fake appendage and start swinging it around while singing Tigre's theme song!

"Worry not. I'm here, and I'm going to solve this situation. Now whoever you are you will release Mr. Armando. If you don't...he...he...he...

"WHOOPS, VIOLA'S IN THE WAY. LOOKS LIKE SHE'S FIRST!"

Mia screamed loudly so Diego could hear her tormented wails, and curled up on the floor. "OH GAWD. NOT THAT. PLEASE NOT THAT!"

She pulled out a gun. "Unless you want that disgusting thing shot off, I'd suggest backing up."

Well, I posted wrong, case anyone didn't know yet, I'm polly and viola

She?

lol

Phoenix heard Mia's wails and came upon a gruesome scene. "OH GAWD...CHIEF, I'LL SAVE YOU!" he roared.